The Reason We Live
by xXxTOXIC-MIDNIGHTxXx
Summary: Castiel is married. Lucifer, no longer a cheeto, now works at Disney World as Gaston. Crowley is back and he and Gabriel keep killing each other. Mini golfing antics, Jonas brothers fanboys, Halloween parties. Just normalcies in the lives of the Winchesters.
1. When You See Lucifer On Your Honeymoon

A/n hey guys! I was super sad to see my first installment, "The Reason We Fight", come to an end.

It seemed to get a lot of views, so then I decided I'd continue the story!

This a sequel, and it has a few references to the first, but you're also free to read just this one without reading the first one. You might get a bit lost though, since it's an AU.

Anyway, it begins right where the first one left off (spoilers for the first one ahead!) !Enjoy!

-Hanna ;)

* * *

"OMG CLARISA I CANT BELIVE WE ACTUALY ELPOED " Castiel squealed in disbelief, prancing around in joyous circles.

"me neither" she replied. "so its tim for our honeymoon now"

"horay"

"lets go to disneywolrd"

"okie"

* * *

So he telpored her and himself into disneyworld (to avoid havig to pay ticket sales 'cause theyre frekin expensive LOL).

"yay we made it to didneyworl and we didnt even have to pay money!" exclamed clarisa, "so LETS GO MEET POCHONATAS!"

* * *

seventeen minutes later:

'Wow too bad pochontas had to go home because you kicked her in the nose.'" Castie noted, with only the slightest ounce dread and sympathy for the Pocahontas.

"Yeh i thought she was suppsoesd to be brave, but she was just a weak worthless fool." shrugged Clarisa. "Lets go see if mulan is a better fighter!"

* * *

22 minutes later:

"Wow too bad Mulan got a concussion when you knocked her out!"

"Ye I though shed know kungfu but turns ot shes just a dispointmen. LEts go see snow whte insted"

* * *

19 minutes later:

"Wow too bad snow white didnt wake upfrom the sedative you gave her when i kissed her"

"Ikr i though that a hot guy kiss was supposed to waker her up!"

"Aw i guess im not hot enough"

"true. Youre not that hot."

" :'( " the angel stated.

But thats ok you can still feel good abou yoursefl Castel."

"how"

"becasue you married me! not to be arrgonat but i think i'm probably the prettiest girl on the planet. even if youre not hot, yuor still my husban! anyway lets go meet Arliel!"

* * *

21 minutes later:

"Wow too bad areil alsot drowned when you threw her into the fountan!"

"Ikr I thught she could breathe underwater. What a loser. Les go see if Jasmin is any good."

* * *

45 minutes later:

"Wow too bad jasimn almos died when we brought that tiger from Animal Kingdom to her"

"Yeh, but she had a pet tiiger she should have been able to handle it. She used to be my role modle, now I'll never look up to someone so weak again. lets go see if Cinderella is as cool as she should be"

* * *

six minutes later:

"wow too bad Cindarella had to go to the emrgeny room when she steped on those glas shards."

"Omg shes such a loser, she wore glass slippers thats basicaly the same thing. Lets hope rapnuzle isnt that big of a disappiontmen"

* * *

1 minute and 26 seconds later:

"Wow too bad rapunzel alsot bled to death when you stabbed her"

"Ikr i thought her hair gave her healing powres what a weakling. lets go see if elsa is relly as cool as everyone says"

* * *

879 minutes later:

:wow to bad Elas had to go to the hospital from the third degree burns you gave her with that blowtorch"

"i just dont understnad" Clarissa shruged apathetically "I though she had snow powers, wouldn that protect her from the heat? Ive been lied to, this is the woort day ever. anyway castli im done with princesss, who havent we met still"

"Mike wezowskie!"

"OMG NO i don't wanna meet him, he only has one eye and he's a freaken turtle"

"Aw ok. "

"oh i know who we should meet. Its…." she paused for dramatic effect "GASTON!"

"You men the villani from Sleeping beuaty and the besat?'

"Yep. hes the hottest"

"I thought I was the hottest. '"Cas sobbed.

"Nope, sorry pal. you arent even close. Gaston is."

* * *

So they got in line and waited to meet gasotn there were a bunch of littrle girls in Belle dresses in fornt of them, Claris secretly wishes she could kill them all so she could just meet gatson already.

When they got there they recognize gaston, but they werent sure why. Then Cass realized:

"OMG SATAN WHA?T ARE YOU DOIGG IN DISNEYWORLL?"

* * *

"Satan?" a lot of parents' heads turned.

Children started to cry.

Cinderella's castle caught flames for a split second.

Then a record scratch was heard.

"Lol no guys im not satin im gaston" he assured them

"Oh ok" parents chuckled and wiped sweat from their forheads.

But Castli wasnt convinced. "Dud your my brothe and I can see your tru form, i know its you luficer"

"Idk what you are talking abt my name is Gaston i'm in love with bell;."

"I'll prove it to everyon!" Castiel reached over and ripped his gaston wig off! Castil was right! LUCIFER WAS THERE! Everyon gasped!

"OMG brother you were a cheeto and dean ate yoju, how are you back alive?"

"Thats not imrtonapnt." he sighed, regretting the cheto incident that had happened four dreadful years ago.

* * *

The security team came to arrest castli for taking gasotn'S wig off. "you are under arrestt wigsnatcher!' one guard said

"ha i dont think so," said Caistle "come on clarasi lets get out of this place!" he telportged away with clarsi.

Then lucifer' boss came to fire him from Disneyworld!

"u broke character and you're also the devil, youre fired."

"but, boss-"

"sorr pal. look like youll be working at gas stations for the rest of your life!"

"this suck" lucfer sighed, "-_-" he telportoed away to go cry on a park bench.

* * *

Wow what a chaotic honeymoon!


	2. When Your Mom Is Dating An Angel

**Meanwhile, at the winchetser house,**

* * *

 **Gabriel and MAry are eating dinner together.** They've been together for four years. Sam and Den decided to move back into their hous because, even though they despised their mom's reltionship, they were homeless and wanted free wifi and food.

Mom can we eat idnner with you?" dean asks

"No son this is a romntic date, you guys eat something in your room or go out"

"But mom-"

"Shut up Dean this is importan"

Dean sighed. Even though she mostly ignored them anyway, now she ignored them even more when she was with Gabriel. It wasn't fair! He didn't want Gabriel to be his new dad!

* * *

 **"sammi we have to do something abou mom"** "What about her" aske d Sam.

"Shes mean she wont even let us eat idnner."

"Rood. so what should we do?"

"We have to break them up. And I kow exactly how to do it" he smiled evilly.

* * *

 **So after gabriel left, dean called him at his apartmen.**

"hola gabe"

"who is this"

"its Deab. Do you know anyone else with a voicxe this deep?"

"oh i guess not"

"anyway Gabrlie will you take us to play golf"

"Golf? Why"

"Becus"

"oh ok."

"So will you?"

"uyh I guess?" he said.

"Ok meet us there tomorrow!" den said then hung up.

"so hows our evil plan going?" aske sam

"Perfcet" said dean, rubbing his palms together, an evil grin crawling up his face.

 **"THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT"**


	3. When Your Mom's BF Takes U MiniGolfing,

**One day later-**

* * *

"So.. you kidz wanted to do some mini golf" speak gabriell

"Yeep"

"let me show you how its done"

* * *

 **So they golfed all, all day.**

* * *

"So" gabriel said, as he got a hole in one on the second-to-last course. "if i ask your mom to marry me will you be mad"

"Ye" dean replied

"oh." Gabriel sighed. "I kindof wanted to be your new dad"

"OMG YOU'LL NEVER BE OUR DAD. HE DIED STOP TRYING TO REPLACE HIM" Dean replied calmly.

"YEH AND THEN HE CAME BACK AND THEN HE GOT ETEN BY A SHRAK" sam added softly, gently whacking his golf club down on the ground in fury.

"Sorry buckos I wish there wer some way you could forgive me. Bu im gonna prosose to your mum tonigh."

 **"YOURE WHAT?!" '**

 **''"Anyway lets keep golfing"**

\


	4. When Your Mom's Bf PROPOSES To Her

**Later that night.**

* * *

 **Mary and Garbiel were eatig dinner at the winchetsres house again.**

MAry sent Sam and Dean out of the room to starve again. They still had their unlimited supply of twinkies that Gabriel gave them when they saved Ruby, but they didn't want to eat them because they were too ticked off at Gabriel!

* * *

"Mary i got a questin for you" said gabriek.

"Whut"

He pulled the ringbox out of his pocket.

"Ok sam now's the time for our evil plan" laughed Dean into his walkie talky

gabriel opened up the ringbox to reveal shiny shiny in the boxx. A RING1!

"Will you mary me Marry?" askes he.

"Wow" MAry was shocked… but before she could answer Dean slided down the banister of the stairs and interuppetd. **"I OBJECT!"**

* * *

 **"OMG Dean how could you intrerupt like that?"** mary asked with her arms crossed.

"I just wannted to tell you what a fun time we had today with your bf, mom."

"Oh reall? What did you guys do"

"We played mini golf"

"Ye it waaas pretty fun" agreed Gabriel

 **"OMG GABRIEL YOU TOOK MY SONS GOLFING? I HATE GOLF, AND DEAN IS ALLERGIC TO GOLF! WE'RE THROUH!"**

* * *

"Yios we did it sam"

"High five big bro" Sam smirked. They began to dance around the house.

 **and they sang, in perfect harmony, "WE FINALLY GOT MOM AND GARBILE TO BREAK UP HA-HA-HAAAA"**


	5. When Your Gf Rejects You Bc Of Her Sons

**Gabriel left the house crying. He couldnt believe ANOTHER woman rejected him.**

HE ran into his apartment and turned on netflix. "time to be miserable" he said, turing on 'The Fult in our Stars' and sobbing before the opening credits even began.

* * *

 **17 and a half minutes later:**

"Gabriel r u ok" dean said over the phone

"What do you think, you tricked me into taking you mini golfing!"

"Uhhh sorr about that" dean said unsincerely. "But look on the bright side,now that you broke up with my mom you caan be our friend again!"

"Ooh ok!" Gabriel smiled "can I even come over and cry at your house?"

"Uh I guess?"

"Cool"

* * *

 **so Gabriel teleported into Dean's lap immediately, beginnign to sob into his chest.**

"yyay" exclaimed dean, uinenthusistacliy. **"I have a crying angel in my house how could this day get any worse."**

* * *

 **then he lost one follower on Twitter and his favorite contestant got voted out in Dancing With The Stars.** "DANGNABB IT SMA THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER"

"Sorry Dean" Sam shrugged. "But they failed that last combo. Face it, she deserved to be eliminated."

"Wow sam, rood." Dean scoffed, gabriel still sobbing into his shoulder.

"besides, I don't blame whoever unfollowed you," add Sma, "your tweets werent funny or philophsopicl at all."

"HEy! They're good!"

"Whatever you say dudebro," Sam shrugged.

"I wonder who it was that unfollowed me"

"Oh, dont bother looking, it was me."

 **'"WHAT OMG SAM HOW COULD YOU"**

* * *

 **"Hey dudes"** Gabril took a break from his crying. "Can we have a hellowen party?"

Sam and Dean replied, in unisoon, **"No"**


	6. When You Throw A Yeet Halloween Party

**1 Week later- Halloween!**

* * *

 **"Hey dudes"** Gabriel showed up at the Winchester house dressed as a german dude in leaderhosen

"What are you doing here and hwy are you dressed up" Dean coughed

"DUH its hallowen!"

"oh ok"

"And I'm throwing a party at your place!"

"Wait **WHAT"**

* * *

 _ **Later that night-**_

"Groovy party dude' said Garth, who shwed uo dressed as a potato. It was a dumb cotsume but he managed to make it work.

"Thx dud but it isnt my party. Gabrli throwed it without my permisionn." dean said

"Oh well at lest he knows how to throw a killer part"

"how is this 'killer'? Theres literly nothing fun here and the onl food is a bag or tortila chips and a jug of water"

"Ikr! Thoes are my fvrite foods!" gilggle graTh

* * *

For some reason, eveyone was imoressed by Gabrliers dumb party, Dean coulndt understand why.

Jo came dressed as a curtain or something, Dean wasnt quite sure what it was but he still told her "yeh your costume looks great babe"

Even luficer came, in his Gaston cosume from disenyworld (before he got fire LOL)

"oh hey brother gabriel said

"wait why is the debil here"Dean gulped. "didnt i eat you lucife"

"thats not imoprtnt" sighed luficer.

"oh ok." shrugged dean.

* * *

Then somene shiwed up unexpdeectly it was… **RCOWLEY**


	7. When A Dead Demon Crashes Your Party

**"hello boys"** Crowley, dressed as a giraffe, yawned.

"OMG CROWLY WEREN'T YOU DEAD" Sam gasped.

"ye garbiel killed me at my mum's weddig"

"well thsis awkard" said Gabril.

"anyway I'm here to party. And get my revnge"

"oh cool you can party…" said Gabriel… " wait, **REVENGE?** "

"Yep" crowely pulled out a poketknife and stabbed Gabrlie and Gaberile **DIED**

* * *

 **"Wow rood you cant just kill the host of the party"** said sam

"Oh sorry"

"its ok he was kind of annoying us anywya"

* * *

 **"wassup losers i aint dead"** said gabriel, coming back to life. "Oh also **CROWLY HOW DARE YOU KIL ME** "

"BEAUSE YU KILLED ME FIRST "

"THAT WAS BECUSAE YOU KILLED MY GRILFRIEND"

"oh you mean Ruby? I just wanted t be the fower girl, she stole that spot from me. But your wrogn, shes not dead."

"shes not?"

"nope im right here" Ruby said appaearing out of nowhere, dressed as princess leia.

"OMG RUBY YOUR OK" Gabriel ran to hug her.

"sorry gabriel." she said, pushing him away, "I'm with Crowley now."

"Omg you killed me, you got blood on my lederhosen, AnD you stole my girlfriend, take THIS" gabriel stabbed Vrowley with the same knife he used to kill him a minute ago.

* * *

 **"Why would you kill me?"** Crowley asked, a offended look on his face as he resureccted.

"bc you killed me" said Gabriel.

"ya and that was because YOU killed ME! sorry pal-" Crowley stabbed gabriel **AGAIN**

* * *

 **"Sto doing this"** Gabriel came back and killed crowley.

 **"no yoh stop"** Croley cameback and killed gabriel.

 **"no YOU"** gabriel came bavk and kied crowley.

 **"YOU"** Crowley came back and killed gabriel.

* * *

 **"Ok stop this is ridiclous.'"** Gabriel wept as he came back to life again. He began to lament:

 _Tell me why (why, why)_

 _Does it hurt so bad_

 _Tell me why (why, why)_

 _Does it make me mad_

 _Tell me why_

 _Tell me why._

 _We got to work, work it out_

 _Before the day is done_

 _We got to be a bit stronger_

 _'Cause we'll need it when tomorrow comes_

 _We got to work, work_

 _Work it out_

 _We got to work, work_

 _Work it out_

* * *

 **"OMG YOUR A JONAS BRITHERS FAN TO?"** CROWLEY GASPD, UNDERSTANDNG THE REFERENCE TO THE LYRICS HE WAS SINGING.

"WAIT YOU ARE TOO?" GABRIEL SQUEALED.h

"OMG IM SORRY I KILLED YOU"

"ITS O.K. IM SORRY I KILLED YOU"

"ITS O.K."

"LETS BE BFFS'

 **"K. "**


	8. When The Demon Is Also a Jonas Bros Fan

**So the party continued. Gabriel bribed the DJ (Baltherazr) to play some Jonas bros tunes.**

* * *

 **Just then, another couple arrived**

"HEY GUYS WER BACK FROM OUR HONEY?MOoN" Claris said, grasping Castliel's hand, and he nodded.

Sam and Dean were shocked, they hadnt spoken to their sister or Calsitle since they got together but now they were MARRID?

"Ew" said Sam

"I agre" said Den.

"Dangit you shouldve let me been yyour floweer girl" Crowley sobbed britishly.

* * *

"Anyway now thata were marreid we are moving in here togther." declare Clarisa.

"But why" asked Dean.

"Good reasons" assures Casytilel

"like what" aske ssam

"Because we cant afford rent LOL"

"Anyway this music is super lame let's get out of here Clarisa"

"ok"

* * *

 **Then everyone else started leaving too!**

Potato Garth left because "theyr too mainstream for me im out PEACE"

Gaston Lucofer left because "THEY SUCK, JUSTIN BEIBER IS MUCH BETTRE"

Kevn left because- jk he wan't even there because he wasn't ever invited LOL.

* * *

 **Soon the only people left were crowley, gabriel, Sam, Dean, Jo, Ruby, and DJ BAlthezar.**

Then Balthazarr left and took Ruby with him- she decided to dump Crowley because she couldn't stnd to be seen wih a Jons fan.

"Sorry bro, you'll have to dj your own music from now on" Bathsaltzar apologized britishly

"I cant believe I ever dated you two losers" Ruby scoffed and hopped away with her new bf.

"So… guess it just us now." said Gabirle

"Good, peopel are finally leaving!" sam giggled, skipping around the house.

* * *

 **"So crow-crow, who's your fav jonas"** ask gabe

"easy its Joe!" speak Crowley

"What did you say about me?" Jo asked.

"Ugh he isn;t talkig about you babe," say Dea, "hes talking aboout the lame jonas brothewrs lets get otu of here."

"Ok." followed Jo.

"Bruh, Nick's definately the besstt." Gab insisterd

"Buyt why" question crolwey.

"BECAUSE. I AM THIER BIGGEST FAN I GET TO DECIDE WHOS TH BEST ITS NICK"

"Oh ok"

"So wait," began Gabriel,... " there's Nick, there's Jor, anbd… who else?"

"OMG I CANT REMEMBER" GASPED CROWLEY

"ME NETHRE!"


	9. When You Forget The 3rd Jonas Bro's Name

**"quick ask siri!" insisted Gabriel, desperate to know who the Jonas brother they were firgetting was.**

"yis good idea." answere Crowl "Hey siri whos the third jonas brothre"

 _"it's nick"_ Siri say.

" **NO HES THE FIRST?"** Crolwe scread at the phone. " **SIRI WER TALKKING ABOUT THE OTHER ONE"**

 _"its Joe you idito!"_ Siri spoke evilly.

" _nonono sirti_ I mean the other other one… not jo,e, not nikc, but…?... **OH AND DONT CALL ME AN IDIOT YOU ROTTEN MACHINE"**

 _"The answer oyure looking for is…."_ siri began before shutting down.

"No wait… siri ples come back im sorry, your not a rotten machine," Crowley sobbed, "ily pleas Siri, answer me. **ANSWER MeEEEE"**

* * *

"Dude relxa I'll just google it" said Gabriel.

"Oh ok"

 **But he couldnt goole it… THE WIFI WAS OUT**

 **"OMG THIS IS A FLIPPIN CATRASTROPHYYYyyyyy"**

* * *

 **later-**

 **sam walks in the room to find Gabe and Crowley hysterically whimpering on the carpet**

"um... dudeS? why are you doig this?"

"Sam thank goodness your here!" Crowley jumped up and wiped his tears.

"Well…." replied Sma, " This _is_ my house, _so_ …."

"Aanyway" talk Gabrille "your wifis out we need your magical wifi powres!"

"omg NO losers, just buy a data pla"n Sam refused

"but why" Crol and Gab ask in unisoon.

"Becasue its lame that you only get internet by vistiing my hous all day or camping out in a starbucks. You may not realzie it, but you have been here for three days fangriling over the jonas brother and ive had enough! I had to cut the routers signal so you gusy would movw from my couch so i can watch gossip girl. omg you guys are freakin hobos."

"rood"

"befroe you kick us out can ypou at least tell us the name of the third jonas brither?" request Garblie "There's Nick, Joe, and…..?"

"Oh thats easy it's….." sam began, and the bffs leaned in in anticipation "get a life you absolute gullible buffoons." he scoffed.

"Hmm no i dont think that was his name." said Gabriel

"Get out of my house losers" sam speak

"OMG SAM YOU SO RUDE"

* * *

Come on Gabrl, let's just ask somebody els."

okie

"Hey look its that prophit"

"Oh yea HEY KEVIN OVER HJERE"

"Excus me your supposed to use my full title. Kevin Train, advanced placemat." corrected Kevn

"Yeh yeha whatever kid anyway we need your help." Gabriel said.

"With what" queries Keivn.

"Because we need to know the jonas bbrothers name! Theres joe, nick and?..." Crowley asked

"hmm," say Kevni, "it's on the tip of my tongue…."

"OMG! _KEVIN!_ " yelled gabriel...

"YU CANT JUST HESITAT/E LIKE THAT"

"Sorry dudes, i cant rember heis name." kevbn shrugged

"Wow kevin youre useless as usual"

"Sigh i get that alot" Kevin walked off, hanging his head in shame.

* * *

"I guess we'll never know" weeped Crowley

"Oh wll let's go back home" say gabriel.

So they telport back to the winchester house, since they basiclly claimed it as their own home, despite the fact that they were widely unwelcomed.

"Hey guys why so blue?" ask dean.

"We still cant remeber the third jonasbro whined Gabril

"Oh you losers are seriosuly _still_ talking about them?"\

"So do _yu_ know his name, /de?n"

"Ppfftt Idk who cares it's probably Hugo" reply he.

Suddenly They realize **"DEAN YOUR RIGTH IT _IS_ HUGO OMG HOW COLD WE BE SO STUPID"**

* * *

 **In victory, crow-crow and garbiel leave to illegally teleport into hugo jonas' hollywood home to get his autograph.**

* * *

 **"Thank goodness they're gon"** dean cheered. Until…

"HEY PALS WE BACK" cas called, barging in through the front dooor.

"Oh crap its clarissa and CAstiell again" sobbed sam.

"We live here now remember?" said Clarisa

"Ugh i hate you" grimaced Dean.

"Yeah i know anyway can we hunt zombies?"

"Omg no clarisa I already said i hate youa nd i never want to hunt zombeis with you ever ever ever agan." yelled desan!

"Wow rood dont talk to my wife like that" Castiel scoffed.

"Not _my_ fault you married her" Dean scoffed even harder.


	10. When Your Bro Won't Let You Hunt Zombies

"Oh well Deab, if you won't let me hunt zomies wirth you then I'll just start my own cool Zombi hunting tem." says Clarisa

"Yeah good luck" smirked Dean, not having faith in his sister's abilities.

"just yiu watch, you freakin girl-doubting jerk; you pathetic excuse for a brother! I'll hunt zombies better than you ever could! You'll see!"

"wow your making me soun like a terrible person" sobbed Den

"Becasue you ARE" says Clarias. "PEace out losahs I'm gonna go hunt zombesssss."

* * *

"ugh casteil your wife is the worst" say Dean.

"rood dont mock my marriage choices" said the angel.

"I can and I will. why did yo marry my sisetr its so werd ples please pleas divorce her"

"OMG NO. ugh eveyone tries to meddle in our relationship Im so tired of it." whimpers Castlie.

"I know how to get people to stop meddling in your reltionship" says Dean

"Really? How?!" gasp Castiel

"It's easy. End your relationship."

"omg NO."

* * *

 **Meanwhile, clarais found Ed and HArry, the Ghostfacers, and convinced them to let her join.**

* * *

"Ed" say HArry, "there's a hot girl on our tem!"

"Ikr" squeals Ed.

"I'm your new leader!" insists Clarissa.

"K" agree Ed and /harr, even though they spent almost their whole lives building up the team on their own.

"And instead of hunting ghost, we're huntig zombes. We are now called the…. ZOMBE FACERS"

"Yay"


	11. When You Start A New Zombie Hunting Team

**The next day, Clarissa decided to make a diary entrance for the amazing events that happened.**

* * *

 ** _dear dary_**

 ** _I AM A ZOMBE FACER_**

 ** _I' m so coo_**

 ** _i am the best_**

 ** _Better then sma and Dea especilay_**

 ** _love, Clarisa_**

"hey love, writing in your diary again?" Castiel peeked

"OMG CASTEL YOUCANT JUST COME IN HERE, MY DIARY IS PRIVATE AND IT REQUIRES _PRIVACy_ TO WRITE IN IT"

"oh… uh sorry" spoke he

"ugh I guess I can try to forgive you... if you buy me flowers. and food. "

"ok consider it done"

* * *

 **He telorpoted away and returned with Burger King and a buquet of rose.**

* * *

"here yoh go my darlin I am sorry I sneked in during your secret diary time."

"OMG cas really, you couldn't find more expensive roses I thght you loved me?!"

"but i _do_ "

"whatever." she tossed the roses to the side " anyway castile, I've been thinking…."

"yes?" Castie smild.

"Im sorry to tell you but i jus relized…

"what?" cass' smile twiste into frown.

"I… i cant date a dud with a trenchcoat its too lame"

"But clarsia. we are not dating we ar marred"

"yeh, thats tjhe thing.. Not anymore."

Gasp "no Clarisa… you don't mean-…."

"im sorry castiel were throug!"

 **"OMG CLARIS YOU TOTALLY JUST DICVOERCED ME!"**


	12. When You Start Dating a Dumb CoWorker

**Clarissa, Ed and Harry were in their special zombie-hunting headquarters…. AKA ed and Harrys ghostfacers RV.**

They were going over zombie slaying techniques and HArry noticed Clarissa had taken her wedding ring off.

"Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

"I dumped castiel, he was treating me TERRIBLY'

"Oh I'm sorry"

"Don't pity me just because I'm a girl"

"I'm not, I'm pitying you because I pity you"

 **"I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY"**

"I'm sorry" whispered Harry.

...

"So… Clarissa…. now that you're divorecd, wil you date me?" ed blushed

"Um… ew yo'ure disgustng no heckin way"

"Pleeeeeeaaasssseeeee" im begging you" said Ed

" ugh fine." Clarisa sighed. ("Actually hes kinda cute but don't tell him I said that" clarissa thought to herself)

"Yis!" cheered he.

"but! First you have to acknowledge that I'm too good for ypu" Clariss added

"lol oh trust me, I know that."

"Then fine i'll date you"

"YIS HARR, CLARSIA IS DATING ME"

"Ugh omg Ed why are you always the lucky one. I have never ever dated anyone everrrr"

"Shut up Harry nobody pities you."

"siiigggghhhhh"

"Anywa Clarisa lets go on a date"

"k"

 **So they did**

...

"oh no" sobs Hary "they left me on my own, now I ave no friends ugh this sucks"

 **he decided leaving his RV and getting some fresh air would be a good idea.**

He swiftly killed a zombie, but he didn't feel the same joy he normally felt when killing zombies with his BFF Ed. Because now he was not WITH his bff Ed. He was alone.

 **all.**

 **all.**

 **ALONE**

"omg Ed how could you leave me like this you know i have a fear of being alone. if 2 bandits show up at our rv on Christmas eve I don't have any way to prank or booby trap them, ples Ed come ba-ha-haaaacccckkk"

"hary whut the heck are you complining about this time"

"Loneliness"

"ugh Harry you are a crybaby and a coward"

"You're my bff you shouldnt say stuff like that ed ugh how rude."

"No you moron, I insult you _BECAUSE_ i'm your bff, its what real friends do. They tel the truth."

"Oh ok anyway why are you back from your date so soon"

" I forgot my jacket. found it. Now im leaing for real"

 **":( no ed"**


	13. When The Devil Interrupts Your Dominoes

**a/n:**

 **hey guys thanks for being patient, I promise this update will be worth the wait. It has two of my most fave characters... Gabriel, and even Nick ( Lucifer's vessel.) YAY! Enjoy lol**

* * *

So do you think your mom would take me back?

No wAY gabriel

But why

Because you broke her nuber one rule. Golf.

Ugh that sucks nobey loves me. Gabriel started to weep uncontrollably whil.e dean watched embarassely

"suck it up, youre not a hormonal teengager" said Dan

 **Gabriel left, ran off, to cry.**

"ugh gabriel you freakin wuss, you left right in the middle of our game of dominos!" Dean called.

"ikr we're always extremely nice to him," Sam agreed "he's waaayyyy too sensitive. He needs to learn to be greatful to have our friendship."

* * *

 **Sudenlly,,,,,,**

appearance

"OmG LUFICER?"

"Nonono you dont undrestand i'm not lucofer, im just Nick."

"OMG LIKE THE JONAS BROTHER" appeared gabriel again, teleportationly.

"uh whut" nick scratched his head.

"Of course he's not nick jonas." Dean scolded "besides, we've been over this you buffoon, you don't mention the Jonas brothers in our house."

"sighhh you guys are soooo mean to me"

 **Gabriel left to cry, again.**

"lol what a baby" Sam laughed. "anyway if you're not lucifer, then who are you?"

"I already told you. My name's Nick. Lucifer posesded my body.'

O"h ok. hey nick nice to meet you lol" high-fived Dean. Turns out lucifer was a pretty cool guy when he wasn't being possessed by an evil angle.

"WAIT." a record scratch as Sam panic. "IF HES NOT POSSESSING YOU ANYMORE NICK, WHO THE FLIP IS HE POSSESING?"

"OH FRICK" said Nick. "I DONT KNO, I DIDNT THINK OF THAT"

"SHOOT GUYS," Dean gulps. "LUCFIER COULD BE _A_N_Y_W_H_E_R_E_.'

* * *

 **wings flap.** **cas came**

"oh hey cas glad you could join us" Dean waved.

"yep i'm definitely castiel, totally not suspicious hah"

"ok anyway Ca gess what? we have a SERIOSU PROBLEM"

"What?" castiel sweated nervously "wait I'm 100% innocent, I have no reason to sweat nervously haha. so whats the problme?"

"McDonald's only gave me _**three**_ ketchu packets when I asked for **_four_**! Whta a horrible day it's been."

"omg how traigc, i am sorry" Castiel's concern shone through his piercing sapphire eyes. How _dare_ McDonald's commit such a crime against _anyone_ , let alone Dean Wincshertser?

"thanks for your pity Cass, but it will never be okay. Oh also we have another tiny problem. The deivl escaped from his body, AKA Nick. now hes somewhere else."

"oh… you dont say. that's quite a… shame. I wonder where he could _possibly_ be."

"Yeah me too" Dean said, shrugging and making eye contact with Castyile.

"OMG dean dont look at _me,_ lucifr is deeeefinitely not me. nope haha defintley not"

"ook. anyway sorry our sister divroced you. anyway I gotta go on A date with Jo"

 **Dean pranced away to his date.**

* * *

"UGH dean ALWAYS hangs out with Jo he never spends bro time with me anmore" sam weeped

"mabye we should do somethig about it"

"ye castlie you are right. Let's. _**KILL. JO.**_ Mwahahaha"

* * *

 **A/n: Omg cliffhanger LOL**

 **stay tune to find out what happens next, especially to see**

 **1\. who Lucifer is posessing**

 **and**

 **2\. if Sam and Casstil will kill Jo or not**

 **~Hanna**


	14. When Even Death Can't Stop True Love

**Sam saw Jo the next day**

 **"** Oh hey sam"

"Heyjo"

"Nice knife"

"Thanks"

"No wait sma"

"Sorry jo but is for the greater good"

"No. wait. Ples dont stab mep"

"Too late" he stabbed her stabbily

"Noooooo" **she died**

* * *

"yis now dena will have to spend time with me" sam laughed, but also feeling an ounce of remorse for his actions since this would be Jo's 2nd death after she blew up in the roadhouse the first time. She was resurescted somehow, and she can problalay come back again, but thats not important. whats important is now dean DEFNITELY wouldnt ignore Sam anymore!

* * *

"oh btw sam i lied" say castiel

"what. What do you mean Castil?e"

"i mean…. I. Am. LUCIFE.

"Oh. dangit"

"Lol =dont feel bad Sam, I'm a freakin good liar and I dont make _anything_ obvious."

Castielucifer pulled a yoyo out of his pocket and threw it at Sam.

"What was that for?" ask sam

"It was supposed to kill you" say lucife

"It was a yoyo"

"Ye. a _MAGIC VOODOO_ yoyo"

"Oh."

 **And then the voodoo from the yooy killed Sam.**

* * *

"Yis I did it!" cheer luficer

* * *

Meanwhile sams'; death:

"Ugh Sam you die soooo many times" complained the grim reaper "this is like the 9th time this week"

"Sorry" shrugs Sam

"seriously a YOYO? You've died like every possible way now what the heck you are sooo reckless"

"Ye I know anyway send me back"

"Ugh fine but this is the last time"

"That's what you said the last 68 times I died, and we all know THAT wasn't true LOOOL"

* * *

 **Then Sam came back,**

and then Sam went back home.

"Hey dean im back from the dead again"

"Sam omg i thought i lost you!1!11!"

"Dude its not that big a deal, we die all the time:"

"Oh yeah i frogot. Anyway have you seen Jo?"

"Uhhh … yeaaaahhhh... about that…"

"Sam... what the hek did you do"

"I… I.. killed her?"

"OMG SAM HOW COULD YOU KILL MY GIRLFRIERND"

"beCAUSE deab you never spend time with MEEEEeeee"

"Oh ok you're forgiven."

"Thanx bro"

* * *

 **Then, Jo came back**

but she didn't want to date dean anymore

 **two weeks later:** Jo decided she would date… ADAM.

Dean and Sma were at a restaurant when the saw Jo and Adam on a date.

"lol look who it is dean"

"Wait Adam is out of hel? When did that happen"

"idk Dean, people come back all the time ive learned to accept it."

"ok Cool. I'm mad he stole my grilfrend but i guess that's what we get for leaving him in hell for all those years"

"Yeh"

* * *

By himself, watching netflix, Gabriel weeped and weeped, nobody would EVER love him, EVER, "ugh why does this always happen." he cried "I always get REJECTED :(((("

 **Anyway back to the main protagonists love life:**

"I need a new girlfriend." said Dean "How about… BELA."

"ooh yes she's hot, you should TOTALLY date her big bro."

"yeet"

"Wait isnt she in hell too"

"Yea but if adam came back she probably did too"

"Oh youre right!"

They forgot that Lucifer was still on the loose but who cares, it's time for love.

* * *

8 days later Dean happened to run into bela romantically in the grocery store.

"Hey bella when did you get back"

"Dont say my name like that, its only spelled with one L "

"Oh ok. hey bela when did you get back"

"Idk, I was in hell"

"Ok. Anyway will you date me"

"Sure" she said britishly


	15. When You're An OC & You Die Unexpectedly

**Manwhile, in Ed and HAryrys' Rv:**

"Clasria it is time for our 3rd date"

Then, SUDDEN LY…..

CLARISA FELL OVER

"Clarsia whut happend" gasp Ed

She did nt answer

"clarisa?"

still no answer.

She.

was.

DEAD.

"NOOOOOoooo I finally get a grilfiernd and then she DIES ugh my life sucks" cries Efd.

* * *

 **Meanwhil, at the winchstre house:**

"Oh hey did you hear the news? our sister died sma"

"Oh no deab that is quite unfortnuate."

"Oh wel"

* * *

 **THE FRIGGIN END**


	16. When Your Ex Starts a Band With a Demon

**A/N: Sorry guys I was really mad at something when I wrote the last chapter, but don't worry! It's not the end after all! -HAnna!**

* * *

 **Then Clarisa came back to life!**

"Yay I am back alive" she said. She brushed off her brown knee high boots and navy blue peace sign crop top.

"Oh my gosh! Clarissa! I was so worried about you my darling!" Ed said.

"Dude ew, now that I've regenerated, my eyes have been opened. I'm way out of your league, you shouldn't even be in the same room as me. I'm over you, we're sooo through"

"Sigghhh nobdy loves me" Ed sighed ":'("

Clarissa, free single and independent, walked out confidently knowing she had just crushed yet another heart. And proud of it.

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

There was much racket and banging coming from the Winchester garage. Mary has ignored it long enough, but now she has had enough of it.

"SAM DEAN" she shouted, "PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY GARADGE?"

"Ugh believe me mom, you dont wanna know" said Sam, sliding down the bannister.

"Stop sliding on my furniture."

"Aww" said Dean as he slid on the table one final time.

"Enlighten me, my sons, what the heck is in my garage? A stampede of frogs?"

"No, I wish"

"THEN WHAT IS THAT HORRENDOUS NOISE?"

"Well... don't be mad. Gabriel and Crowley dexided they wanted to be musicans... so they started a Jonas brothers cover band."

"YOU LET MY EX AND A DEMON START A BAND IN MY GARAGE?!"

"I SAID DONT BE MAD GOSH MOM YOU DONT LISTEN" wept Sam. "Besides... they paid us."

"What did they pay you?"

"Money." said Dean.

"THAT SARCASM IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE YOUNG MAN, GO TO YOUR ROOM"

"I can't, you renovated my room so you could store your bobblehead collection. my new room is the garage remember?" Dean sobbed

"Ugh when will my 40 year old sons move out" Mary thought in regret.


	17. When Your Exes Are EVERYWHERE

Sam Crolwey and Gabriel were chatting over teas and biscuit in the Winchester kitchen after Gabriel and Crowley's garage band rehearsal.

Suddenly,,,

RUBY APPEAREd

"GASP Rudy what are you doing here?!" asked Sam.

"OMG weve been over this my name is ruBy you dislexyc FOOL."

"Oh whoop anyways why are you here?"

"Because I smelled tea." She took some and skidaddled.

"ook"

* * *

 **Anyway time to get back to practicing!**

Unfortunatey crowley had a secret.

He could not drum good.

"uhhh, Crowley..." Gabriel started. "No offence, don't take this the wrong way, but your drumming SUCKS. LIkE YOUR LITTERLY THE WORST DUMMER EVER"

"how dare you :"( ugh wow real bffs would never talk to each other like that. I think it is time to break up the band!"

"YES" MAry overheard, and cheered.

"omg its my ex" Gabriel hid, bushing. "Shes sooo beautiful help. I still not over her."

he had a lot of tragic breakups.

* * *

Speaking of his exes, Ruby appeared again!

"RUBY what the hek? why are you back?!1"

"Bec I left my keys loser."

"Oh ok... WAIT how did you leave your keys if you didn't drive here to begin with? do you even have keys?"

Idk.

Oh ok.

"Peace."

she left.

"Sigh Ruby will NEVER ever love me again" Sighed Gabriel :(


	18. When You Cry Genuine Tears Of Cry

Gabriel was starting to regret the way he treated Crowley. Not only because it was really rude, but mainly because if aNYONE could help Gabriel win Ruby back, it was Crowley.

He called him on his walkie talkie.

"Hey cowrley I am so so so sorry I made fun of your drumming. please forgive me and take me back as your bff. please. I'm loenly and desperate."

There was no response. Only static.

"Crowley please. I know you're there. Pleasse."

still just static

Gabriel began to sob and he cranked up his portable CD player with his Jonas Brothers CD in it.

The music enticed Crowely.

"Ugh fine" I'll forgive you Crowlet said on his walky talk, britishly.

so then then they sang some Jonas brothers tunes together.

* * *

SLUMBER PARTY TIME.

Gabriel and Crowley went over to the Winchester house, the perfect place for a sleepover. They set up their sleeping bags and built a couch fort. Then they put on their fluffy pajamas and watched Camp Rock together in the living room.

"Sooo" Gabriel interuppted the movie in some dumb song that just had the girl and not the Jonas bros. "are you still dating Ruby?"

"NO remember she dumped me for Bathlazar?"

"oh yeahhh what a shameee."

"aha! I KNEW IT. YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP. YOU ARE JUST U SING ME SO YOU CAN GET RUBY BACK AS YOUR GIRLEFIRNED."

"what... no.."

"DON'T DENY IT YOU FREKIN LIAR."

"But-"

"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT GABRIEL YOU FILTHY TRAITOR."

"NO" he lied, "I'd NEVER do that Crow Crow, you are my BFD. I'm uh just uh... asking for a friend."

"A friend? GASP I thought I was your only friend."

"COWLREY NO I DIDN"T MEAN IT LIKE THAT . I-_"

"SHUT UP GRABRIEL WE CAN NEVER BE FREIND" he sobbed running away.

"Ugh I am so stupid I just threw my only friendship away and for what? A relationship that was never truly meant to be. Not the way that my relationship with MARY was"

* * *

"NO. STOP TRYING TO DATE MY MOM" sam popped up from behind the couch.

"Sigh it feels so horrible to never be accepted by anyone," Gabriel sobbed. "If only I had never taken you guys mini golfing, this nveer would have happened."

"SHUT UP GRABIREL YOU SUCK" responded Sam

":'( I was jus trying to do what a good step dad would have done, be nice to his new step sons."

"YOURE NOT MY DAD STOP TRYING TO BE MY DAD YOU WILL NEVER BE MY DAD."

"And that was the reward I get for being nice to you boys? Your mom dumped me on the night I planned to propose to her because I exposed Dean to his only allergy in the world?"

"NO. DEAN IS ALLERGIC TO TWO THINGS. GOLF... AND ESPECIALLY: YOU"

"Ugh everyone hates me"

"Yep lol youre right everyone does."

So Gabriel teleported away crying tears of cry.


	19. When You're A MASTER Tear Collector!

Sam was proud of himself for making yet another angel cry (Gabriel was the second one, after Sam had broken off his friendship with Castiel when he decided to marry his sister Clarissa,) He caught one of Gabriels tears and put it in his angel tear scrapbook next to Castiel's tears from so so long ago.

"If only now I can get one from the toughest angel ever... BATHLAZER"

"OOH CAN I HELP YOU MAKE HIM CRY? HE STOLE MY GIRLFREIND!" said Crowley, appearing suddenly.

"What the heck? No way you creep, get out of my house."

So he did, sulkingly.

So then Sam rolled out his super secret genius blueprint with his idea on how to set out and collect the tears of Bathsalt.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gabriel did the only thing that would ever make him happy in that moment...

That's right. HE Went to court and legally changed his last name from nothing to Jonas.

"Hello world," he said as he walked out of the courtroom, swinging the doors open epicly and confidently (nobody heard him).

"Say goodbye to the old Gabriel, and sya hello to the new and improved GABRIEL JONAS"

he put on a leather jacket and flipped the collar up. He was already wearing leather pants and sunglasses, duh to match his newly moussed, neatly combed and spiked rebel hairdo.

He was cool now.


	20. When People Forget You're A Potato

"Hey Gabriel" Garth approached him on the sidewalk, riding his unicycle.

"Don't talk to me Garth. I'm cool now."

"Oh."

"Why are you still wearing that potato? It's not my halowen party anymore."

"THAT was a HALLOWEN PARTY? Oh lol, I just thought it was a normal lame party, if I had knew it was a costume party, I totally would have worn a costume!"

Are you telling me that potato isn not a costume?

"YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A COSTUME? ugh I am so offended! no way garbeil jonas, this isn't a costume, this is the new me. haven't you heard? I'm a #potato now."

Oh."

Gabriel scratched in confusion his head as Potato Garth unicycled away.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE:**

Sam was this close to getting Balthazar's tears. In fact he just had three steps left in his mega super master plan:

 **1\. Find Bathlazer.**

 **2\. Make him cry**

 **3\. Collect tear**

 **EASY AS PIE**

"Did someone say pie?"

"No, Dean, go away."

"Why do you hate me bro?"

"Because you always get into my business, just because your my brother doesn't give you an excuse to dig through my personal life, ugh."

"Wow Sam why don't you tell me how you really feel Dean sobbed."


	21. When You Turn Into A Cheeto AGAIN

**OH AUTHOR NOTE BTW Happy 300th Episode SPN!1 Love Hanna :)**

* * *

Luficer was still on the loose, disguised as Castiel and nobody seemed to care.

Except Clarissa.

Don't get me wrong she couldn't care less that the devil was on the losse LOL. But she did intend to fight him. She was powerful enough. She could kill him, no problem at all.

So she _did_ kill him

"NOOOO" said Lucier

Then she unkilled him

WHY DID YOU SPARE ME

"Because. I'm rebranding. I only kill zombies now, or else super cool creatures. And I'm afraid you're just not worth my time, lame-o."

"Wow rude. I'm getting out of here." He abandoned Castiel as his vessel and instead took Cheeto form again. This was his first time as a Cheeto since the tragic fateful day wehn Dean Winchester swallowed him.

* * *

 **On another note, Castiel was finally unpossessed by Lucifer!**

"Welp being the devil was unpleasant, especially since no one even remotely tried to help unposess me. But hey, at least I got to see Clarissa again."

He was still heartsick over his ex wife. "Sigghhhh I wish she didn't divorce me."


	22. When The Witch You Murdered Kills You

**Rowena came back to life after being killed by Castiel at her own wedding.**

Why did Castiel kill her? because she killed Castiel's brother Garbiel (now back alive and known as Gabriel Jonas.)

Of course, the only reason Rowena killed Gabrel was because Gabriel killed her son Crowley (and in case you were unaware, Crowley is now back alive and BFFs with his former murderer, Gabriel Jonas.)

The reason Gabriel killed Crowley was because Crowley killed Ruby. And that was when Ruby and Gabriel were dating, so Gabriel wanted to avenge the love of his life. The only thing that caused Ruby and Garbile to breakup was Ruby's demise that day.

But then Rowena, avenging her despised son, turned Gabriel into a pile of confetti. And Castiel was upset at her for doing that, because that pile of confetti was Castiel's bro. So Casteli killed Rwoena.

 **But now she was back alive.**

 **She wanted revenge.**

* * *

"CASITLE HOLD IT RIGHT THERE"

oh no it's you didnt I kill you

Yeah but here I am back to live.

How?

None of your concert, I've done it before in two different seasons it's definitely possilbe.

GEES ROWEAN WHAT HAVE WE SAID ABOUT BREAKING THE FORTH WALL? THEY CAN HEAR US

NO YOU ARE WRONG. THEY CANT HEAR OU VOICES, THEY CAN ONLY READ THESE WORDS IN A FANFICTION

HOW DO YOU LNOW THAT

I KNOW EVERYTHING. LIFE IS A SIMULATIN AND I AM IN CONTROL

LIAR.

Am I a liar? idk maybe ;). you'kl never know for sure, but anywya IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE FIEND, YOU KILleD ME. So NO W I WILL KILL YOU.

Rowena lol no offense but I'd like to see you tru to kill me,

I dnt tink you losers know how poersul I am.

you are not powerful\\. you are just a fake witch with fake witch powers. You think you know what you'e doing REALLY?

hat the heck caistl you saw me turn your bro into confetting you know for a fact tha t i have real powers.

O h yeah.

 **So Rowena killed Castiel.**

 **NOOOOoOoOoooOooo o Oo OoO Ooo ooooo OOoOoo oooo ooO oo o o**

* * *

"It is ok, dear reader. Do not fret. He'll come back to life eventually" said Rowena. _"I_ just did."

but sadly, Casitel did not come back to life.

And he had nobody to avenge him. it is too bad, since he was hoping to win back the affections of Clarissa, but oh well; he was dead.


	23. When Nobody Likes Your Funeral

**anwyway, back to the actual protagonist, Clarissa.**

"Man. I, Clarissa Winchester, am so so so great. I am so amazing. So what flippin awesome amazing stuff can I do today"

* * *

She climbed a mountain with her bare hands, went skiing down an avalanche, scuba dived with sharks, surfed with shraks, swam with sharks... then she saw JOHN WINCHESTER inside one of the sharks mouths

Omg dad what the heck are you doing there

"This shark eated me" John sighed

Oh ok bye

* * *

There was much sadness at Castiel's funeral. Nobody noticed he died until the funeral was announced. Nobody even knows how the funeral was announced, since nobody knew he was dead except for Rwoena. But anyway they all showed up and cried.

Except Clarissa didn't cry, she was a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man, Especially not her LAME EX ANGEL HUSBAND WHO WORE A LAME TRENCHCOAT.

Sam cried

Dean cried

Gabriel cried

Mary cried

Crowley cried

Rowena, the murderer, cried

Ed cried

Harry cried

Balthazar cried

Garth cried

Kevin cried

Chuck cried

Charlie cried

Ruby cried

They ALL cried.

Then Castiel popped up from his casket HEY GUYS IM BACK TO LIFE AGAIN

 **he left and went to eat some toothpaste**

* * *

OMG CASTIEL THAT WAS SO CRUEL Sam punched him, interrupting his toothpaste cuisine.

"Ouch . watch it buddy I'm immortal I could kill you"

"Lol Id like to see you try, anyway... no offence dud but your funeral was lame."

"WHAT how dare you say that!?"

"Um because it was boring."

"But I saw you crying ! "

"Yeah the only reason I cried was because mom made me turn off my video games and come to your stupid dang funeral, and guess waht:? Your stupid dumb lame funeral ended up being dumb! You suck at being a friend Castiel, I can't believe you would die just to make me turn off my video games. You are the absolute worst. I hate you."

 **" :'( " Castiel wept.**


End file.
